The Seven Names of Me

by - 3:55 PM

A few days ago, I posted this, in which I stated my seven nicknames (Lady of the Red Shoe Emoji, President of the Swag League, General of the Fiend Army, Queen of Middle-earth, Sorcerer of us All, Conquerer of Malta, Co-Head of the Council of Shunning). As requested by the lovely Gwen, I shall now embark on an explanation of what the heck these mean.

1. Lady of the Red Shoe Emoji

The red shoe emoji looks like this:

High-Heeled Shoe

For some reason, I really like this emoji. I think it's the fact that it's a bright red shoe - I've always had a weird love for bright red shoes. (Why aren't all the shoes in the world bright red, people???? THEY NEED TA BE!!!!) So, sometimes, when I text, I'll randomly use this emoji in place of a smiley face.


I know, I know, I'm weird.

But anyway, that is why I am the Lady of the Red Shoe Emoji.

2. President of the Swag League

My best friend and I have science class together, and one time we had a sub. As we were walking out of the classroom after the bell rang, he called after us, "Make sure to knock out your homework!" Later, Reagan asked me, "What does 'knock out' mean in that context?"

"I think it means to do something in a kool kat* fashion," I replied.

"Kool kat fashion?"

"Yeah, like.....popular people. Kool kats. Who always walk around being like, 'Yo, 'sup, stuff, bae' and Leagues."

"Swag Leagues?"

"Ya And they'll walk up to prospective kool kats and be all like, 'Yo, wanna join our Swag League**?'"

Reagan: *facepalm*

So then we started randomly being like, "Yo, wanna join our Swag League?" to each other and striking awkward poses as we said it (and then, of course, bursting out laughing). Soon we decided that people that weren't kool kats (like we joked around pretending to be) belonged in the Dungeons of the Swag League. But we also determined that we needed a President who had the sole power to throw people in the Dungeons so that there wouldn't be outright anarchy of everyone throwing everyone else in the Dungeons. And I, being the creator of the Swag League, was therefore elected as President.

(Reagan, being my best friend and right-hand man, is Vice President.)

3. General of the Fiend Army

One day at school, whenever I felt smug about something, or won anything, or a similar scenario occurred, I would randomly say, "Ha-ha, you fiends!" That became known as kind of my "thing". Weeks later, in reading class, we were doing a rhyming game of some sort because it was the last class before a break, and one team tried to say that two words that didn't rhyme rhymed. The fiend urge took me and I shouted "Fiends!" at them, because they weren't playing right. Then, to my complete shock and "what the heck", the rest of the class started yelling "Fiends! Fiends!" at them, too. I had raised an army. And all armies need a leader. Therefore, since I was the pioneer of fiending, I became the General of the Fiend Army.

4. Queen of Middle-earth

Because I say so.

5. Sorcerer of us All

This is another one I can't really explain. One day in the first week of seventh grade a girl in my class just randomly told me I was the Sorcerer of us All and called me that for the rest of the school year.


6. Conquerer of Malta

I have this app called SplashyFish (basically Flappy Bird but with fish) in which you can earn money (game money, no real money comes into play at all) to buy little accessories for your fish to wear while it's splashing (idk if you can do this with Flappy Bird too). For some reason, I always text Reagan when I buy my fish a new item, and once I bought it a pirate bandana and Robin Hood hat and texted her. She wasn't at her phone then or for a while after and so didn't see the text until for an hour, so when she did she texted: I leave my phone for almost an hour and I come back and you've got the pirate bandana, you've conquered the Robin Hood hat, and probably a tiny European nation too who knows anymore.

And I replied: Actually I did conquer Malta so there

So yeah that is how I became the Conquerer of Malta.

(BTW shout out to Reagan who spent about twenty minutes going through our old texts looking for this because I couldn't remember it or find it. Thank you so much :).)

7. Co-Head of the Council of Shunning

So once one of my friends said something that came out somewhat sexist (he didn't mean it to, it just depended on how you heard it), and of course we all know me I was infuriated and immediately dressed him down in exactly why he was a horrible person for saying such a thing and then turned my back and announced, "Shun!" and did not speak to him for the rest of the week. (I know, I know, I have a bit of a temper. A bit.)

But then another friend started picking up on the shun thing, and so whenever someone said something like, "Tolkien is stupid," he would go, "Shun!" like I had and not speak to them for five minutes (but jokingly, not with the real anger I had before). And since he and I were the first to do the "shun" thing, we are the only two allowed to shun people (because otherwise there would be outright shun anarchy, everyone shunning everybody and the whole thing losing meaning for being implemented so much). Therefore, we are the Co-Heads of the Council of Shunning.

Well, those are the stories behind my seven nicknames! If you have any titles or nicknames, feel free to share them in the comments below. Have a great rest of your day!



*The ks are there on purpose. They emphasise how kool the kool kats are, because being kool is kooler than merely being cool. Savvy?

**I think it's evident we're not very popular and generally don't interact with people who have more than three friends.

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    Ahem, hi! You signed off with "namarië"?!?! High-five!!;)

    1. YAAAAASSSS!!!!!!!
      (I literally am such a huge Tolkien addict it's not even funny)
      I did indeed.
      *high fives back*
      Being as ye seem not to have passed this way before, hello there! :) I'm Ellie, and here I blog about music, reading, writing, Tolkien, and random spasms of my mind. You're always welcome :).

      - Ellie

  2. I swear to god, I could have written this post.
    We have too much in common, Ellie. Our personality's are far too alike. This isn't good. xD
    I've got two nicknames that I've briefly mentioned before. My main one, El Bandito, happened around fifth grade and has stuck for many years now with Kelsey. I don't even know how it happened, I believe we were writing in a notebook back and forth during a particularly stomach-curdling movie on the Revolutionary War that neither of us were keen to watch, and one of us mentioned it or came up with it and bam! we had fifty sketches of a sombrero wearing man and a new nickname for myself. It fits though, since I've got a weird obsessive love for Mexican food. xD

    1. Great minds think alike, I suppose. :)
      (Perhaps we are both fire signs or something of the sort.)
      I like it. Do you rob from the rich and give to the poor or just steal whatever comes your way?
      Mexican is good. I like Mexican. I like beef tacos, and refried beans with cheese.

      - Ellie

  3. oh gee.... these are hilarious! Good job keeping those tiny european countries in check.
    I have but one nickname that I can think of at the moment: koala.
    Because once upon a time, when my math table was whole and undivided, I said some thing weird (as always) and Brianna thought it was a good time to say "sometimes I imagine Gwen as a koala" I don't know why.
    If I was to give a nickname to myself it would be She Who Deems Things Dumb, because I always carry my "this is dumb" stickers in my pocket.
    The shunning shall have to implemented at my school. If I can't put a "This is dumb" sticker on their forehead, then my only other option is to shun.


    1. *bows w/ a flourish* Thank 'ee, thank 'ee, it is a natural talent.
      'Tis good that you always keep those weapons in your pocketses. They are a good weapon against the fiends of the world.
      (And I like the nickname, btw. Has a nice ring.)
      Shunning works remarkably well, but only if everyone does it. If there are some who refuse to conform and insist on interacting with the horrible individual, it loses its effect. However, if everyone shuns, the dumb fiend will find themselves red-faced and stuttering very quickly. I wish you all the luck in the world in your endeavors!

      - Ellie

  4. I feel like at the geography bee thing you're going to they should give you a name tag that has all of these listed on it. I mean it's a sign if respect to address you by all of your titles so they should really get on that.
    Hmmmmm idk. Mine would definitely be "The Prosecutor if Deceitful Pretzels" and maybe "Vice President of the Swag League". (Idk if that counts as a title or a job.) I think there was either one or two. Idk if that was the second one or if there was another I forgot or if it was only one.
    I feel like we should have swag league stickers and every time someone is granted membership in the swag league we just sneak up behind them and bestow them with a sticker.

    1. They really should. I must be waited on hand and foot.
      No, they're both titles. Those are them.

      - Ellie

  5. Your nicknames are so awesome and funny!
    A few of my friends call me Hobbit because I pranced (shamelessly) down an empty corridor at my school calling myself a hobbit.

    1. Aw, thanks! :)
      Ha - that sounds like something I would do.

      - Ellie

  6. Hi Ellie! I'm sorry, my comments havn't been showing up! Man, that's a bummer because I commented with all my nicknames and such.
    Oh well.

    Great post! Very amusing. ; )

    1. What? This is not good. I shall have to look into it. Maybe they accidentally got shuffled into the spam box or something.
      Dang it! You're right - it is. I would have loved to hear all your nicknames! :P
      Thank you, dear. :)

      - Ellie


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