This Entire Post is Just a Big Reference (aka Idk What I'm Doing With My Life)

Firstly, milk is one of the worst calamities ever to curse this earth.

Thirdly, cotton candy is better than lollipops.

Sixthly and lastly, the Empire State Building really isn't that tall in the first place.

And to conclude, hobbits are awesome.

Namarië,
Ellie

21 comments:

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    1. FINALLY PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND.

      - Ellie

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  2. WHAT NO MILK IS WONDERFUL! (Except when it's all over your floor, soaking into your jeans, and mixing with your tears...because your boyfriend has just been....you know...drafted) <---- a reference to a fanfiction I never read (except summaries/excerpts of.)
    Tbh I don't really like cotton candy or lollipops.
    Everything else is 100000% accurate though

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    1. OOH, what fandom? I might have to read it.
      You.
      You.
      You don't like cotton candy?
      Reagan I am ashamed of you.

      - Ellie

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    2. Supernatural.
      I mean I've always kinda liked it but not really. Sierra and Lucci gave me some on the bus back from the class trip though and it was actually pretty good so idk. Maybe it's one of those "I can have it every five years but if it's any sooner I'll get sick of it and hate it" kind of foods???

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    3. IS IT CAS AND DEAN.
      OR IS IT WINCEST.
      OR IS IT SOMEONE ELSE.
      *gets flustered because runs out of Supernatural knowledge* VOTE CROWLEY.
      Ahem.
      Per-haps. Or perhaps that was just really good cotton candy. Do Otticus like cotton candy?

      - Ellie

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  3. COTTON CANDY DRIES OUT MY MOUTH LIKE THE HOT WINDS OF HELL.
    YOU TAKE A BIG BITE AND ARE LEFT WITH A SMALL, HARD, OVERLY SWEET CHUNK OF LIES AND DECIET. Cotton candy is bs.

    Im sure messing up the numbers was supposed to be funny (as in the entire post is a reference bit.), but I don't know what it's referencing. Gah! It hurts not knowing! I hope it wasn't A Very Potter Sequel, I haven't seen that yet.
    I sometimes wish that there were ways of making sure people had watched the show first. I've used Monty Python and the Holy Grail many many times in my posts, but no one picks up on it.
    So tell me, ellie. Why is this whole post just a big reference?

    P.s. Tomatoes are slowly, slowly becoming less disgusting.

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    1. Hmm. It seems we have different experiences with the treat. For me, it is taking a bite out of a sweet, soft, cloud and letting it melt slowly in my mouth as my tongue is bathed in streams of sugar until at last it has completely dissolved and I get to take another bite.
      Hmm. I could write something from that.
      It isn't AVPS (BUT LET ME TELL YOU MAN EVEN IF YOU SKIP ALL THE MUSIC DO NOT SKIP THE VERY FIRST SONG BECAUSE IT IS THE BEST THING EVER).
      It is a reference to Shakespeare's play Much Ado About Nothing. In this scene, a blubbery, bumbling court judge has just captured two criminals who were involved in driving the two main lovers apart. The judge is trying to explain what the two men have done to a Lord in the land, but he keeps fumbling over his words and stuttering because he is so enraged. He says, "Marry, sir, they have committed false report, moreover, they have spoke untruths, secondarily, they are slanders, sixthly and lastly, they have belied a lady, thirdly, they have verified unjust things, and to conclude, they are lying knaves." And then the Lord (called Don Pedro) replies, "First, I ask thee what they have done, thirdly, I ask thee what's their offense, sixthly and lastly, why they are committed, and to conclude, what you lay to their charge."

      - Ellie

      P.S. ILYSM RN YOUNG BLOOD.

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    2. Ah, Shakespeare. Iambic pentameter. Comedies. Tragedies. Tragicomedies. I know nothing of Shakespeare. That should be changed.
      I first read blubbery as blueberry. And then I got in she shower and my mind started to wonder. Ima go off on a tangent here, u can stop reading of u want.
      So I still thought that blubbery said blueberry and that reminded me of when I still had to go to this Sunday schoolish thingie and they made us watch veggie tales because the real teacher wasn't there and we saw the one about the sad blueberry lady who wanted more stuff. Gear acquisition syndrome, I like to call it. And then the blueberry lady made me think about that Sunday schoolish thing and how much I loathe it. So at this point, if you're still reading, I warn you of negative religious opinions up ahead. But I've needed to vent, but was never sure how, but this is probably still not the best way, but I trust you with my feelings/opinions and songs and stuff, which surprised me, cause I don't normally do that. It's probably a good idea to use that comment moderator thingie of yours to just read this and not publish it, cause even though it's way less of a big deal than I'm making it sound, we can never be sure what will offend the flower children. Ok, on with it? It was very poorly done, for starters. Every question was answered with WATFALG( we are to fear and love god) and then you got the bible quoted at you. And all we were learning was what went down in the bible and that was a bunch of crazy bs, even worse bs than cotton candy, all who begot who and folks getting smited right and left and why you doing that right there what you just did is sinful as all get out(Leviticus is messed. Up.). We did monotonous worksheets on that stuff, and there were these little videos, explaining in dumb person language what the heck was going on. They got to the bit about the promised land, right after the "u shall not kill" scene, and the bit that came after was like God told them to go in and kill all those folks living in the promised land because they were in the way and worshipping cows and things, not the great malevolent sky daddy. And the puppets (it was a puppet show. Like I said: it was a poorly done class.) who were telling us that we're saying it like there's something wrong with worshipping cows. WHAT? I mean like, Christians are supposed to be accepting of other folks religions, right? Yeah, sometimes they're not, but usually it's pretty good. That cow comment sent me over the edge (there was more, of course. Worse than the cows, but I consider the cows to be a turning point.), added to the fact that every time we started getting towards a philosophical discussion that I was actually interested in I was told "we didn't have time for that today." Which was as much of a lie as cotton candy.
      So I decided to quit. Mom was displeased, cause she's a churchy person, and this was the fancy class that you had to take before they let you be a part of the church, which I had already decided no on before I even started, cause I can't take the bs. With that, I began to argue, using the brand name Gwen argument strategy: well placed snarky comments mixed with philosophical questions and discussions, aided by my dad. It took me a month or so, but it was the proudest thing I have ever done. And the arguing made me think back in full circle to old blubbery who isn't a blueberry Shakespearian lawyer guy who messed up his argument.
      The conclusion: 1) Shakespeare is an unexplored realm in the land of Gwen, 2) blubbery and blueberry are extremely similar, 3) I think in circles in the shower, 4) the bible and I do not get along, and 5) I think you're pretty great. And I feel like Colin Creevy for that but still.

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    3. Did I even spell his name right? Collin Creevy- the crazy one bouncing up and down after harry- which book does he come in? 4th?

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    4. Now I'm imagining him as a giant blueberry with t-rex arms.
      Gosh, thank you. You're definitely my closest friend on here, and I would trust you with mine.
      The flower children can get offended.
      THAT SOUNDS HORRIBLE OH MY LORD *hugs you* I have never liked preachy stuff of that sort. I hope at least the Veggie Tales was good.
      Was this a class you had to take or something you did during the service? I remember when I was little during the Saturday services there was a thing where little kids could go down to the basement for half of it and have explained to them what the Gospel meant in kid language. But that always came to come back to "Jesus Loves Everybody". And then we'd get a little activity page at the end with Gospel-related crosswords and word searches and stuff. It wasn't all that bad, although it was a little boring. Still, it was better than being up in Church. It sounds like you had a much different experience. It sounds horrible.
      Ah, yes. My father is very churchy and used to make me to go with him. And now it's time for my tangent: yes, I do technically sort of identify as Catholic, but the services are so boring and the priests/deacons who do the Homilies and always too conservative for my taste and always say we must all clothe ourselves only in sackcloths and go live in huts in the jungle to glorify the Lord because that is the only proper way AND YOU BETTER BE MAKING TRAVEL PLANS RIGHT NOW (UNLESS it's this one priest we have who's married because even though Catholic priests can't get married (which is stupid) he used to be Anglican (where they can marry) and got married then, but then he converted and the Church let him keep his wife and child (which, being as the Catholic church, especially the conservative branch, is extremely nasty a lot of the time (but that's another rant), surprised me quite a bit). He often focuses on things like what the Saturday school said, "We must love and accept everyone" and "Jesus loves everyone so you should too". He is not all that bad. He is also Canadian, which is cool. But sadly he's preaching less and less now because of bad health, so we're mostly stuck with the ultra-wacky deacons.) And STILL Daddy made me go to Church. But then we got a new Pastor who decorates himself in gilded regalia (which Daddy hates. He thinks all priests should be like Pope Francis, who lives in a small apartment instead of the palace the Popes usually reside in and gets his shoes from Target.) and literally every chance he gets says stuff like
      "We must persecute the gays!"
      "We must strip all rights from women!"
      "We must exclude all who are not white!"
      "We must wipe all memory of other religions (and this includes Protestant jazz) from this earth!"
      "Only men should be priests!"
      "Priests who marry are a scourge upon humanity!" (awk-ward, as he works with one almost everyday and that man almost certainly heard his sermon.)
      "Also look at me and how cool I like in my new regalia!"
      and etc.
      Okay this comment was too long so here's part 1.

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    5. Part 2:

      So Daddy doesn't make me go anymore since he knows how strongly I disagree with those beliefs. He does too, but he feels he has a duty to attend Mass. But we are looking into going to other Parishes.
      But anyway.
      Go Gwen! *applause* The Snark wins.
      Hold on. The Snark. If the Snark were personified, what would it be like?
      Your dad sounds like a very good person.
      I think it's Creevey, but you could be right. Colin comes in in the second, and his little brother Dennis appears in the 4th (but doesn't have nearly as large a role as Colin (at least up 'till the Half-Blood Prince. I haven't gotten my little fingers on DH yet.))
      OOH OOH OOH OOH SHAKESPEARE YAY. I recommend Much Ado About Nothing, Julius Ceasar (which is very short and about the one and only JC's assassination and contains minimal lovey-dovy stuff, it's mainly political intrigue), and A Midsummer Night's Dream (like half the cast are fairies in this one). The Merchant of Venice and Hamlet were also good. BUT WHAT EVER YOU DO DO NOT READ THE TEMPEST OR ROMEO AND JULIET. They are very bad. NO.
      Conclusion:
      1. Ellie talks a lot.
      2. Religious conservative priests are hella annoying.
      3. Gwen has suffered through much indeed.
      4. I think you're even better.

      - Ellie

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    6. HOLY MOTHER OF NACHOS.
      Your church experience is awful! We had been going to a Lutheran church, which is way more laid back. Your pastor is the very definition of Poop Head.
      It was a catechism class, which you had to do before you could be "part of the church" which means, as far as I can tell, that you get a laminated name tag that no one ever wears, they want you to donate money, and they glare at you if you don't come to service. The class was on Sundays between services, mostly boring preachy stuff with the crazy biblical puppet show on the old TV and boring worksheets. A person should have been able to tell that things were going badly because me and John The Other Star Guide both left.
      On one of the tests I made up silly answers and drew people getting smited down by the hand of God. The teacher was not impressed. But I showed my dad, who laughed sort of at the pictures but mostly at the fact that I usually get straight A's while this was the lowest grade I had gotten, but arguably a brilliant piece of work. I framed the test and hung it up.
      After my arguments, going to church slowed and hiking took its place. Out walking in the woods seeing waterfalls and the mountain and stuff makes me feel closer to any sort of higher power than sitting in stuffy old church did.
      As for personifying Snark, I am disappointed in you, as you missed the obvious choice: BARTEMAEUS!
      Your church reminds me of Tracy's church. (Remember Tracy? She's the one we like to bother with interpretive dancing.) She got a divorce and now can't date anyone else 'cause her church ( like I said: it's a bit more like your church. They've got their panties in a bunch and the wrong idea 'bout lots of things.) needs to "dissolve the marriage" first. And they make you fill out packets and get their nose in everyone's business. And it's sad cause she's lonely but she feels like she shouldn't date till things get dissolved.
      Having a church seems like one big, oppressive family.
      The blueberry with t-Rex arms. Oh gee. I want to draw that. I already drew the philosopher squirrel, but it didn't come out too great. I'm not good at drawing, but it's still fun.

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    7. It is. Not just my particular establishment, but the whole Catholic church altogether. And now I have to go to a Catholic high school. Ugh. (Although Mom has informed me that if I don't like it after my first year I can transfer to a public one.) If I have children I shall almost certainly not send them to religious-based or even secular private schools. There are plenty of good public schools out there, despite what all the people in my school seem to think.
      Yes. Lutherans seem cool.
      He is. He is also literally shaped like a square. His body is a square. And his head is a slightly smaller square on top of his body square.
      Ah. This is a class. Was it like RCIA? (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults.)
      In my church, being a member means the priests cease treat you like horse dung in exchange for you becoming their spiritual slaves.
      John The Other Star Guide gets a gold star. Speaking of which, how is star guiding going?
      THAT TEST SOUNDS AWESOME.
      Hiking is a much more pleasant way to spend time, I think. The nature is always gorgeous.
      BARTEMAEUS YES. I loved those books so much. The third was the best, followed by The Ring of Solomon (which technically wasn't part of that trilogy but it has Bartemaeus in it so I'm chucking it in anyways), then the third, then the second.
      Poor Tracy. Perhaps that's why she's so irritable.
      IT IS. Except the family part.
      DRAW IT DRAW IT DRAW IT PLEASE.

      - Ellie

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    8. *then the first, then the second.
      (They were all actually really good though except for the second. I didn't really like that one.)

      - Ellie

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    9. Yeah, forcing kids into a religion just because the parents like it is dumb. I think that when they're little we teach them how to not be a poop head, and then when they get older you can learn about all the religions. "All right: here's the branches of Christianity, here's Paganisim, Wicca, Buddha stuff, Muslim stuff, Jewish stuff and a bunch more choices over there. U can choose 1 or none or do a little mix of all of them."
      It's like Montessori, but with faiths.

      How do you even spell Buddha?

      Catholic high school. Ugh. Sympathy, friend.

      I don't think it was like RCIA, cause we were all teenagers, and there was no formal acronyms. Everything (worksheets, tests) was made by the pastor's wife, and I tell you it was just puppet shows and worksheets. The puppets were just putting all of the bible into simple words, with a couple interjections from Clyde, who wanted a pony. The puppet show was made by the veggie tales guy. He wanted more bible facts, not just hoarder blueberry people.

      While I was in the process of quitting, my Grandmother Who Is Overly Concerned With My Religious Well Being sent me letters with passages to read and prayer sheets with Mary on them and talking about helping little girls in her church (she goes to one of those bunched up panties churches too.) find Jesus and stuff.
      No, grandma, that's not what I need right now.
      It's like if you get a pizza with pepperoni and salami, but the salami is gross, you don't even want to pick the salami off. You're just so disgusted that you either give up on pizza or order a different one. That was a strange analogy. The icky bits of the bible are the salami, if you were wondering. And being agnostic is like saying "is there a decent pizza out there? Maybe, but we don't know which one." Or "is there a decent pizza out there? I'm not willing to say." There's a whole lot of different kinds of agnostic, too which makes my brain hurt.
      And then atheism is like "there is no decent pizza, and don't try to tell me that your pizza is the best." And I just make fun of all the pizzas. I told mom this and she said sometimes you're in the mood for a different pizza. Don't feel bad if you need a different pizza.

      I was supposed to have my first star party the night before yesterday, and the superintendent of the school district and all the other administrator peeps we're going to come, but that got canceled due to clouds. Tonight we're going to try again, with a bunch of old ladies from Tacoma. Mr Pauly says it'll be easy cause they can't see anyway. I just hope I can remember how to do everything. We've got to put up signs, welcome people, set up all the telescopes, get the mirrors alined in the big ones, and make sure the lasers are lined up. Which is the hardest part because I forgot how to do that. And by the time the planetarium show is done, it'll be dark so we'll have to explain the lasers and Polaris and the rotation of the earth, then help people find everything. I'm a bit nervous for tonight, but old ladies tend to be forgiving, and we get paid in cookies at the end.

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    10. Your method sounds good.
      I think you're spelling it right.
      THANK YOU FRIEND.
      Why on Earth would they show puppet shows to teenagers??? That is silly.
      Poor you. I have a friend like that. She's a very sweet friend and I love her a lot, but sometimes she can be a bit ugh. I try to ignore it, though.
      If a decent pizza shows up but no one believes in it, does it really exist?
      Oh dear. Well, good luck for tonight! I'm sure it will go swimmingly.

      - Ellie

      P.S. - If you get confused, you can always use your Magical Star Guide Abilities to send a message to Mars asking Rumbleroar for advice.

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    11. I'm here now. The old ladies are very enthusiastic. RUMBLEROAR is with me.

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    12. YAY!!!! Tell him hi.

      - Ellie

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