Icarus - A Poem By Me

It hurts so much
In the twisting of my gut
To know that I can never be the one to caress her face.
It hurts so much
In my suspiciously stinging and salty eyes
To know that I can never be the one she wants to snuggle and hold.
It hurts so much
In the lump in my throat, making it impossible to breathe,
To know that I can never be the one to stroke her hair, to hear gentle nothings from her.
It hurts so much
In my face, as I am forced, for my own sanity, to turn my gaze away,
To know that I can never be the one whose hands she clasps, whose lips she kisses,
Whose smoothies she shares and whose face she has on her lockscreen -
It hurts so much.
But I could never leave her side,
Despite the fact that I am not, and have never been, the one.
For I am her Icarus, and she is my sun.




To the one I once adored and still love.

Namarië,
Ellie

8 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness. This poem made me feel a lot. It was the kind of thing where I almost forgot that I was crushing on my friend and then realized that every line of this is just completely applicable to my life. Wow. Well, this is an absolutely gorgeous piece of work!

    Bridgette | A Bit of This and That

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    1. Ohhh thank you so much, love!

      - Ellie

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  2. aaannnd now I'm crying.
    this was beautiful and heart wrenching ellie.
    xx a || <a href="http://www.notgarycooper.blogspot.com>not gary cooper</a>

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    1. OH MY GOODNESS THANK YOU. And nooo the Adi must not be sad! *showers you with hugs and tea*

      - Ellie

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  3. Its weird that this isnt just one of those things that makes you say "whoo whee that was a little emotional." And move on.
    This (and ive read it 4 times now) makes me curl into a ball and make quiet angry screeching noises until i can continue. This happens at a different place in the poem each time, there's just one line with each rereading that's like running into a wall. The wall, im assuming, is a metaphor for my sapphic [desire? enthrallment?], my social incompetence, and confusion over girls in general.

    I went back up to see if i missed anything and god damn it ive done it again.
    Your mission to make a relatable poem that induces all the right feelings using only printed words has been more than successful.

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  4. I really love that last part. The way you ended it, it's so strong and thought provoking. Keep writing!

    - Skylar | Skywriting

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  5. Now I am an emotional wreck because this reminded me of Hamilton and Eliza and Alexander HUDUFS. Yikes sorry. But this is gorgeous I love your writing and gah I AM SO EMOTIONAL IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

    that was noor trying to piece a comment together that was more than "i have no words". i literally, don't have words.

    ~ Noor

    quick q: are you doing NaNoWrimo?

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  6. I don't know how to say this without sounding like a broken record of everything that's been said before, so I'll say this: you have a wonderful, beautiful talent that I hope continues to grow and flourish.

    Plus, Icarus is Greek mythology and you know about my myth-geekiness :) (UNLEASH THE FANGIRL KRAKEN)

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